You rejected the idea of 'just get over it’ or ‘shove it down, distract and move faster, so it can't get you'.
You said ‘No’ to these imposters parading as strength or good ideas.
You knew it would get you.
You knew it would sneak up on you sideways
and
lay
you
right
out.
So you decided to make some room.
And it probably will still
lay
you
right
out.
Grief is so tricky like that.
But you decided not to be surprised or demand it behave differently.
You knew that wouldn’t work anyway.
And life will not be the same.
And you will not rush this process.
You will make room for it to make a big ol', cleansing mess.
You know that tears are our soul's built in energy cleansers.
And you will cry as many of them as you need to, when you need to.
You will weed those people from your life who insist you stop crying and suck it up because your pain makes them uncomfortable.
You have LOST.
And you will not apologize for your emotions at this time.
You will be done crying when you are done crying.
You will come out from under your covers or back from your walkabout when you are ready.
You will take your time.
You will let the pieces of you be rearranged in the way it came to rearrange you.
You will not know the meaning of this unpleasant rearranging until later, much later, when retrospect is your cherished companion.
Until then, you trust this very uncomfortable process.
Because you know that this did not happen for nothing.
And you pledge that it will not mean nothing.
It will mean something.
Even if you have no idea what that is right now.
It will mean something.
And that something will be useful. In the strangest way, it will be useful and it will propel you to the next good place you didn't want to go.
You don't stress yourself out pretending it's good or it feels fine.
It’s not fine and it won't feel good.
Maybe a person you loved in the depths of your being, has died.
And although, you know their spirit is always with you, the holding-them-in-your-arms portion of your relationship is over.
And the heart-to-heart, face-to-face conversations have come to a close.
The opportunity to say,'I Love You’ or 'I'm Sorry’ or both is gone.
And navigating with the invisible version of them will take some time.
Or maybe a relationship has ended and although you reject the idea that anyone needs anyone else to be complete, you can't quite shake the feeling that you have just been disconnected from the other half of your body.
And somehow you need to walk forward, anyway.
Or maybe a road you thought was your road is closed.
So, you pull over and recalibrate.
Pull over, My Love.
When it's time to drive again, you'll know.
If you have earned or are earning this Soul Success Medal for Humanity, please place your hand on your heart and claim it for yourself.
The Soul Success Medals for Humanity at Soul Food Gallery
